Balancing Life Choices and Defining Success My Way

Success may mean differently for people and its definitions can change over time. For me, the earliest definition of success was doing everything the women of my time weren’t supposed to.

So, I educated myself.

I finished school with first division but dreaming of higher education seemed a cruel idea since most of the household income was being spent on my elder sister’s B. Arch degree, EMI payments for a post-retirement home for family, and running a household of five. I decided to step up and make my living. I wanted to go down different paths to learn and explore. So, I joined a vocational course at YWCA and pursued my graduation part-time. This flexibility allowed me to enrol for numerous courses: languages, art, mixing of colours and different mediums, creating outstanding typography, design, office management, book-keeping, and soft skills training. Fifteen years later, I designed jewellery and launched my diamond jewellery label in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, which I successfully ran in UAE and India for close to a decade.

Living life on my terms, I learned that there is only one circle around each of us. This circle of life continues to expand to accommodate the different decisions we make. You’ll have everything you’ve invited into your space and everything significant in this circle. Even while experiencing growth, you’re still going in circles because life’s basics remain the same and never changing. 

This realization led me to balance my aspirations with my reality and family’s needs. I was the second girl child of the house, and my mother was subjected to a lot of under the breath comments. She had grown a thick skin, but I was, unfortunately, absorbing every harsh comment that came her way. Early on, I decided that my life choices would never be based on the gender I was born into.

Three decades later, as president for special projects at RSWM Limited, I pick up the most ambitious projects within the company. Whether it’s a complex ask or a straight shooter, I look at each workpiece with the same eye and the same intention – to get the best output for each human life attached to its outcome. I specialize in harmonizing disparate elements of extended business functions and departments to sustain market leadership in hypercompetitive markets. 

Every day brings a new set of challenges and I keep switching my perspective to find solutions that haven’t been thought or done before. I start my day at 5 am with some light stretching and yoga followed by simple affirmation exercises. This is followed by 15 minutes of meditation which helps me think creatively and plan my day ahead. I also take out quick 10 minutes for book reading to compensate for my busy workdays. These practices have helped me truly understand the ground realities and needs of those living in the extremities. In 2021, we started the Swabhiman Bhoj program – serving meals for 1 rupee each in different cities of Rajasthan. Today, this program by Jawahar Foundation has served over 1,00,000 dignified meals.

Being a successful career person can be hard if you aren’t constantly working on yourself. I strongly advocate self-care for continued success and an accountability coach or partner that helps you stay on track. I want to break the myth that we need to ‘attain’ success. I believe that we are all born successful. After all, each of us is one of the 300 sperms that made it! So, success is in our DNA, and we need to just recognize it!

Success is often thought of as crazy work and no play, but I do not feel that is a sustainable approach. The only thing that will continue to serve us until we serve it is our body and our mind. On demanding days, I think of the 17-year-old me who had decided to find balance in life choices. 

A few years ago, I noticed that mindfulness was missing in people’s life choices. Hence, I picked this as my mission and pursued holistic life coaching professionally with the aim of enhancing the quality of life of young millennials and to offer tools that may speed up their goal achievement and assist in mindful living. Over years of coaching people, I have grown to become a better human being and a more compassionate professional.

These constant self-improvement practices have helped me strengthen my bond with my daughter, even though she’s been living in a different country for eleven years. At times, while creating new campaigns or charting out the right target group, I often think of the changing career goals of millennials today, with my daughter and my team members as a reference point.

Being a single caretaker of my parents, I also have to be constantly present for their medical, emotional, and old age needs. Last year, when all of us were admitted with a severe case of Covid, I remember working from hospital beds and waiting rooms. I needed to keep my head high and not let the ball drop at work. Today, I maintain a pleasant environment at home. Sometimes, I have to jump from being a doting daughter to a strict head of the family, as the situations demand. My parents enjoy monthly outings and I make sure they feel heard and valued. My decisions are guided by my intuition – no matter how big or life-changing. It is always a ‘Hell Yes’ or a ‘Hell No’ from within. My life choices within the last few years have honed my ability to think clearly. 

One mantra that I want to leave you with is:

“All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it is impossible to fail.”

– Dorothea Brande

• The article was originally published in Career Ahead January 2022 issue.